How to Help a Child Pray

One afternoon, when my son Nathan was six, he announced that he had prayed for his friend Asa to come over and play. I was tempted to arrange a visit, but I didn't. Instead, I watched from my dining room as a car pulled up. The passenger door opened, and Asa jumped out, eager to play. Asa had asked his mom to bring him over, a clear answer to Nathan's prayer.

Few things thrill a parent's heart more than hearing a child pray with earnest faith. But how do we help our children get there? What builds their confidence to call out to a God they cannot see? And how do we guard against formalism and hypocrisy in prayer? Given how many books are written to help adults pray, our kids will need some guidance.

Model a Life of Prayer

Our children learn far more from our example than we realize. As praying parents and grandparents, our most important training tool is our own praying life. The best way to teach your children to pray is to demonstrate it yourself.

I grew up watching my parents and grandparents pray. I loved spending time at my maternal grandma's house and, being an early riser, would often see her get down on her knees to pray. On Sundays, visits to my dad's parents included witnessing their afternoon prayers. These memories are etched in my mind—my grandparents and Aunt Gene sitting around the coffee table, praying.

My dad led us in family prayer, and his confidence in calling out to God taught me to trust Him. I vividly remember a difficult Friday morning when he gathered us to pray for my mom, who was in the hospital awaiting heart surgery. She had suffered a stroke, leaving her unable to speak and paralyzed on one side. Through tears, my dad called us to pray.

I was sixteen and prayed with confidence for God to heal my mom. The doctors were hopeful; although they canceled her surgery, they said she could recover within six months. Later that day, they reported her full recovery and rescheduled her surgery.

With my own children, we prayed consistently for my brother's salvation. This prayer became one they often repeated without prompting. Over a decade later, at my father's funeral, my brother announced his saving faith in Christ, attributing it to my father's example. This taught my children about persistence in prayer better than any lesson I could give.

"The best way to teach your children to pray is to demonstrate a praying life yourself."

Our love for Jesus should naturally spill into our prayers. While traditional prayers have their place, it’s essential to pray with our hearts genuinely bent toward God. Your children can tell the difference.

Teach the Way of Prayer

In addition to modeling prayer, teaching our children about prayer is important. Here are four lessons you can teach your children to help frame their understanding of prayer:

1. Prayer is talking to God as Father.

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He gave them a simple prayer that encouraged them to approach God as their Father. Review the passage with your children and walk through the prayer to help them understand each part (Luke 11:1–4).

• Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom comes.
  God is our Father in heaven who, like a good earthly father, is ready to hear us. Begin prayers by telling God how wonderful He is and praying for His kingdom to grow.
• Give us each day our daily bread.
  God wants us to ask for daily needs like food, shelter, clothing, and grace to obey His commands.
• And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
  We can confess our sins to God and ask for help to forgive those who have sinned against us.
• And lead us not into temptation.
  We all face temptations to keep sinning. Pray for God's guidance to avoid these temptations.

2. God always hears us, but He doesn’t always give what we ask for.

God gives us what we need, not always what we want. Teach your children these Bible verses:

• "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer." (1 Peter 3:12)
• "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." (James 4:3)
• "This is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." (1 John 5:14-15)

3. We don’t need to use long or eloquent prayers.

God already knows what we need. Jesus taught:

• "When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:7-8)

4. The Psalms can teach us how to pray.

Teach your children that the Psalms are recorded prayers of David and other Old Testament saints, given to lead us in faithful prayer. Some helpful Psalms include Psalms 1, 23, 63, 100, 121, 139, and 150.

Image the God of Prayer

Alongside modeling and teaching prayer, embody the God who hears prayer. A loving, patient earthly father teaches his children about a loving, patient heavenly Father. But a selfish, short-tempered dad can distort his children’s understanding of God. Remember, God compares His willingness to hear our prayers with a father granting his son’s request (Luke 11:11–13).

When your children ask, “Dad, can you play catch with me?” or, “Can you tell me a story?” strive to say yes. While we don't always need to say yes, being known for saying yes helps children see God’s welcoming nature.

If you struggle with anger or impatience, confess your sins to your family. When my oldest children were in grade school, I found myself in that place. After confessing to my wife, I confessed to my kids, asking for their forgiveness. My wife followed with her confession, and our four older kids did the same. From that day, we pledged to help one another and prayed for God’s help. God answered with an outpouring of grace.

Remember, we can train our children even through our failures. When we live godly lives, we provide an example for our children to follow. But when we fail and confess our sins, we demonstrate the gospel's application. Whether by our godly example or our confessed sins, we can say to our children, “Come follow me.”

Unconfessed anger and impatience mar our children’s view of God. But when confessed, those same sins showcase the gospel and give our children a path to the cross. Humble prayers for forgiveness stand in stark contrast to the Pharisee’s self-righteous prayers (Luke 18:10-14).

Praying with Daddy

I'm still an early riser, and I spend my time praying in the early morning. When our oldest children (twins) started kindergarten, I realized they rarely saw me pray. So, I began waking them up, one at a time, early in the morning to join me. We would pray together for about fifteen minutes once a week. Over time, all my children learned prayer by praying with Dad.

If you’ve been slacking in your devotions, start back up with daily Bible reading and prayer. Once you’re consistent, consider inviting one of your children to join you. They will never forget praying with Daddy in the morning.