One
afternoon, when my son Nathan was six, he announced that he had prayed for his
friend Asa to come over and play. I was tempted to arrange a visit, but I
didn't. Instead, I watched from my dining room as a car pulled up. The
passenger door opened, and Asa jumped out, eager to play. Asa had asked his mom
to bring him over, a clear answer to Nathan's prayer.
Few
things thrill a parent's heart more than hearing a child pray with earnest
faith. But how do we help our children get there? What builds their confidence
to call out to a God they cannot see? And how do we guard against formalism and
hypocrisy in prayer? Given how many books are written to help adults pray, our
kids will need some guidance.
Model
a Life of Prayer
Our
children learn far more from our example than we realize. As praying parents
and grandparents, our most important training tool is our own praying life. The
best way to teach your children to pray is to demonstrate it yourself.
I
grew up watching my parents and grandparents pray. I loved spending time at my
maternal grandma's house and, being an early riser, would often see her get
down on her knees to pray. On Sundays, visits to my dad's parents included
witnessing their afternoon prayers. These memories are etched in my mind—my
grandparents and Aunt Gene sitting around the coffee table, praying.
My
dad led us in family prayer, and his confidence in calling out to God taught me
to trust Him. I vividly remember a difficult Friday morning when he gathered us
to pray for my mom, who was in the hospital awaiting heart surgery. She had
suffered a stroke, leaving her unable to speak and paralyzed on one side.
Through tears, my dad called us to pray.
I was
sixteen and prayed with confidence for God to heal my mom. The doctors were
hopeful; although they canceled her surgery, they said she could recover within
six months. Later that day, they reported her full recovery and rescheduled her
surgery.
With
my own children, we prayed consistently for my brother's salvation. This prayer
became one they often repeated without prompting. Over a decade later, at my
father's funeral, my brother announced his saving faith in Christ, attributing
it to my father's example. This taught my children about persistence in prayer better
than any lesson I could give.
"The
best way to teach your children to pray is to demonstrate a praying life
yourself."
Our
love for Jesus should naturally spill into our prayers. While traditional
prayers have their place, it’s essential to pray with our hearts genuinely bent
toward God. Your children can tell the difference.
Teach
the Way of Prayer
In
addition to modeling prayer, teaching our children about prayer is important.
Here are four lessons you can teach your children to help frame their
understanding of prayer:
- Prayer is talking to God as
Father.
When
the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He gave them a simple
prayer that encouraged them to approach God as their Father. Review the passage
with your children and walk through the prayer to help them understand each
part (Luke 11:1–4).
- Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom comes.
God is our Father in heaven who, like a good earthly father, is ready to hear us. Begin prayers by telling God how wonderful He is and praying for His kingdom to grow. - Give us each day our daily bread.
God wants us to ask for daily needs like food, shelter, clothing, and grace to obey His commands. - And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive
everyone who is indebted to us.
We can confess our sins to God and ask for help to forgive those who have sinned against us. - And lead us not into temptation.
We all face temptations to keep sinning. Pray for God's guidance to avoid these temptations.
- God always hears us, but He
doesn’t always give what we ask for.
God
gives us what we need, not always what we want. Teach your children these Bible
verses:
- "The eyes of the Lord are
on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer." (1 Peter
3:12)
- "You ask and do not
receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
(James 4:3)
- "This is the confidence
that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he
hears us." (1 John 5:14-15)
- We don’t need to use long or
eloquent prayers.
God
already knows what we need. Jesus taught:
- "When you pray, do not
heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be
heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows
what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:7-8)
- The Psalms can teach us how to
pray.
Teach
your children that the Psalms are recorded prayers of David and other Old
Testament saints, given to lead us in faithful prayer. Some helpful Psalms
include Psalms 1, 23, 63, 100, 121, 139, and 150.
Image
the God of Prayer
Alongside
modeling and teaching prayer, embody the God who hears prayer. A loving,
patient earthly father teaches his children about a loving, patient heavenly
Father. But a selfish, short-tempered dad can distort his children’s
understanding of God. Remember, God compares His willingness to hear our
prayers with a father granting his son’s request (Luke 11:11–13).
When
your children ask, “Dad, can you play catch with me?” or, “Can you tell me a
story?” strive to say yes. While we don't always need to say yes, being known
for saying yes helps children see God’s welcoming nature.
If
you struggle with anger or impatience, confess your sins to your family. When
my oldest children were in grade school, I found myself in that place. After
confessing to my wife, I confessed to my kids, asking for their forgiveness. My
wife followed with her confession, and our four older kids did the same. From
that day, we pledged to help one another and prayed for God’s help. God
answered with an outpouring of grace.
Remember,
we can train our children even through our failures. When we live godly lives,
we provide an example for our children to follow. But when we fail and confess
our sins, we demonstrate the gospel's application. Whether by our godly example
or our confessed sins, we can say to our children, “Come follow me.”
Unconfessed
anger and impatience mar our children’s view of God. But when confessed, those
same sins showcase the gospel and give our children a path to the cross. Humble
prayers for forgiveness stand in stark contrast to the Pharisee’s
self-righteous prayers (Luke 18:10-14).
Praying
with Daddy
I'm
still an early riser, and I spend my time praying in the early morning. When
our oldest children (twins) started kindergarten, I realized they rarely saw me
pray. So, I began waking them up, one at a time, early in the morning to join
me. We would pray together for about fifteen minutes once a week. Over time,
all my children learned prayer by praying with Dad.
If
you’ve been slacking in your devotions, start back up with daily Bible reading
and prayer. Once you’re consistent, consider inviting one of your children to
join you. They will never forget praying with Daddy in the morning.