A Struggle with Prayer
“I don’t pray often. When I do, I just don’t know what to say. I know it should be more than just a list of demands, but I get stuck. I wish I had a better prayer life.”
These words were shared with me many years ago by a young woman named Rachel (not her real name). She grew up in the church, familiar with Christian traditions and teachings, but prayer was always a challenge. Having recently graduated from a Christian college, she found herself in a season of transition—trying to maintain her faith without the built-in support system that her college provided. It was during this struggle that Rachel reached out, expressing her frustration and disappointment with her prayer life. In response, I told her something she hadn’t expected to hear: “Your prayer life might be better than you think.”
Over the years, I’ve shared this same sentiment with many others who have expressed similar concerns. While it’s not a blanket statement that applies to every situation, I’ve found it to be a helpful word of encouragement for people like Rachel who may feel inadequate in their prayers. This encouragement is not just a way to boost morale, but rather a reminder of God’s grace, the presence of His Spirit, and the deeper, often overlooked realities of what it means to have a prayer life.
What Does It Mean to Pray?
For many Christians, prayer feels like an elusive spiritual practice. We often associate it with long, eloquent speeches or deeply emotional moments. When our prayers don’t match this ideal, we may feel inadequate. But what if our definition of prayer is too narrow?
At its core, prayer is simply communicating with God. It is not confined to a specific style or structure. Some people, like Rachel, think they need to offer perfect words or profound insights. They believe prayer should be more than a "grocery list" of needs, but struggle with what to say beyond that.
When Rachel shared this concern with me, I asked her if she read her Bible regularly. “Yes,” she said. Then I told her something that may surprise many Christians: “You already have a lot to say in prayer because the Bible is filled with Spirit-inspired prayers that you can use.” The Bible gives us language for our prayers, from the psalms to the Lord’s Prayer and beyond. These prayers are not just historical artifacts or theological lessons; they are templates we can use in our own prayer lives.
Praying Through Scripture
Many of Rachel’s struggles centered on the feeling that she needed to come up with her own, original prayers every time she prayed. This left her feeling lost and disconnected. However, Scripture teaches us a different approach. The prayers we find in the Bible aren’t just examples of how to pray—they are prayers we can adopt as our own.
Consider the psalms, for example. These are God-given, Spirit-inspired prayers. They cover a range of human emotions and experiences: joy, sorrow, anger, confusion, repentance, and praise. Praying the psalms allows us to speak to God in the language of Scripture, even when we don’t know what to say on our own.
In the New Testament, the early church did exactly this. In Acts 4:24-26, the believers prayed the words of Psalm 2 as their own prayer. Similarly, in corporate worship, the congregation of Israel was encouraged to take David’s prayer in 2 Samuel 22 as their own, as recorded in Psalm 18. These prayers were given to God’s people to be prayed again and again.
If you find yourself struggling to know how to pray, start by praying Scripture. Open your Bible and let its words become your prayer. You don’t need to invent the perfect words—God has already given you the words to begin.
Praying Together: The Importance of Corporate Worship
Another key element of prayer that is often overlooked is the role of corporate worship in our prayer lives. When I told Rachel that her prayer life might be better than she thought, part of what I had in mind was her regular participation in our church’s weekly worship services.
In many Christian traditions, corporate worship is structured as a dialogue between God and His people. God calls us to worship through His Word, and we respond through prayers, songs, and confessions. Each element of the service—from the opening call to worship to the benediction—is an opportunity to engage in prayer, whether we are singing, confessing our sins, or listening to Scripture being read.
This corporate aspect of prayer is crucial. Just as a fan at a baseball game may chant along with the crowd without inventing their own words, so too do we join in prayer with the gathered church. This doesn’t make our prayers any less personal or meaningful. In fact, corporate worship shapes and strengthens our personal prayer lives by teaching us the rhythms and forms of prayer.
Corporate worship reminds us that prayer is not just an individual activity—it is a communal act. When we pray together as the body of Christ, we are participating in something far bigger than ourselves. We are joining our voices with believers around the world and throughout history, lifting our prayers to God as one unified people.
Being Prayed For: The Body of Christ at Prayer
One of the most comforting aspects of Christian prayer is the knowledge that we are constantly being prayed for, even when we feel we are falling short in our personal prayer life.
As believers, we are members of the body of Christ. This means that we are part of a community that is continually interceding for one another. Even when we are personally struggling to pray, we are being upheld in prayer by the church. This is true on both a local and global level. In many congregations, intercessory prayer is a regular part of worship, with members lifting up specific requests on behalf of others. But even if you don’t attend a church with a strong focus on intercessory prayer, you can be confident that the global church is praying for the whole body of Christ, which includes you.
More importantly, we have the assurance that Christ Himself is praying for us. Romans 8:34 tells us that Jesus is at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us. And Romans 8:26-27 adds that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Even in our weakness, when we don’t know how to pray, the Spirit and the Son are praying on our behalf.
Prayer as a Gift of Grace
At the heart of this encouragement is the reality that prayer is a gift of God’s grace. It is not something we must master in order to earn God’s favor. Instead, prayer is something we are invited into as part of our relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
James Torrance, a theologian, once said that “God in grace gives us what he seeks from us—a life of prayer—in giving us Jesus Christ and the Spirit.” This means that our prayer life is not primarily about our own efforts or performance. Instead, it is about participating in the perfect prayer life of Christ.
Jesus is the only one who prays perfectly. He always prays according to the will of the Father. When we pray in His name, we are participating in His perfect prayer. This is why our prayer life is better than we think—not because of our own skill or dedication, but because we are united to Christ and His life of prayer.
Conclusion
If you’ve ever felt like your prayer life is lacking, take heart. Prayer is not about achieving some mystical state or crafting the perfect words. It’s about being in relationship with God, learning to speak with Him through the words He has given us in Scripture, and participating in the prayer life of the church.
Whether you’re praying on your own or with others, whether your words are eloquent or halting, whether you feel strong in your faith or weak—your prayer life is sustained by God’s grace. You are never alone in prayer. You are part of the body of Christ, constantly upheld by the prayers of others and the intercession of Jesus Himself. And that is more than enough.
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