In our spiritual journey, one of the most essential lessons is understanding the difference between seeking forgiveness and seeking excuses. This distinction is not merely a matter of semantics but cuts to the very heart of how we relate to God, how we perceive our sinfulness, and how we experience the transformative power of genuine repentance.
The Presence of God: Unavoidable and Pursuing
God is omnipresent and eternal, existing in every moment and every place. C.S. Lewis profoundly captures this reality by emphasizing that God is not only present everywhere but is also actively pursuing us. He is the hunter, the king, and the husband, moving toward us with infinite speed. This imagery reflects the constant truth that we are always in God’s presence, and more than that, we are always under his pursuit.
This constant presence of God presents us with a fundamental choice: we can either embrace and welcome this reality, surrendering ourselves to this omnipresent and pursuing God, or we can vainly attempt to hide, resist, or reject his relentless pursuit. While it’s true that we are always in God’s presence, it’s equally true that we are perpetually called to come into his presence willingly, to unveil ourselves before him in honesty and vulnerability.
The Importance of Honest Confession
Central to unveiling ourselves before God is the confession of our sins. To truly enter into God’s presence, we must come as we are, and that means acknowledging the full reality of our sinful nature. We are not merely a collection of fears, needs, and anxieties; we are, at our core, sinners in need of grace. True confession requires us to be honest about our sins and our need for God’s forgiveness.
However, C.S. Lewis warns that confession is not always straightforward. There are numerous pitfalls and dangers associated with the practice of confessing our sins, and these must be navigated carefully.
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The Danger of Vague Guilt
One of the main obstacles to genuine confession is the presence of vague guilt, a nebulous sense of wrongdoing that lacks specificity. Vague guilt is particularly troublesome because it prevents us from repenting. After all, you can’t repent of a sin that you can’t clearly identify. Real sins are specific, and real repentance requires specificity.
If you find yourself enveloped in a fog of vague guilt, Lewis advises pressing through the uncertainty to identify any specific sin. If, after diligent searching, you find no specific sin, it’s crucial not to force the issue. Instead, treat the vague guilt like background noise, something to be endured as you continue to seek God’s presence.
The Need for Quick and Specific Confession
On the other hand, there are times when we know exactly why we feel guilty. We are fully aware of our sin, but we hesitate to confess it because we want to avoid the conviction that comes with it. In such moments, Lewis suggests that the best course of action is the simplest one: confess the sin quickly and specifically.
This means using biblical language to name our sins. Instead of softening the language, we should be direct: “I have lied,” not “I’ve been less than truthful.” “I have stolen,” not “I’ve borrowed without permission.” By being specific and honest, we strip away the euphemisms that allow us to avoid the full weight of our sin.
Forgiveness vs. Excusing: A Critical Distinction
A common mistake in seeking God’s forgiveness is that we often confuse it with asking for excuses. Lewis points out that forgiveness and excusing are almost opposites. Forgiveness acknowledges that we have done something wrong but chooses not to hold it against us. Excusing, on the other hand, implies that we weren’t really to blame in the first place, that our actions were understandable or unavoidable.
When we ask God for forgiveness, we must be careful not to mask our request with excuses. True forgiveness requires us to recognize and admit our guilt without attempting to shift the blame or diminish our responsibility. God is fully aware of any extenuating circumstances, and our task is to present the core of our sin, stripped of all justifications, for his forgiveness.
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Avoiding the Trap of Self-Condemnation
While it is important to acknowledge our sin, Lewis warns against the danger of becoming overly fixated on our own corruption. Some Christians believe that a deep and permanent awareness of their own sinfulness is a mark of spiritual maturity. However, Lewis argues that this can lead to despair or, paradoxically, to a perverse pride in our sinfulness.
Instead of dwelling permanently on our sin, Lewis recommends an approach of imaginative honesty. We should recognize and confess our sin, but we should not wallow in it. Continual self-examination, if not tempered by the recognition of God’s grace, can lead to a distorted and unhealthy view of ourselves.
Self-Examination: A Divine Partnership
True self-examination is not an isolated activity but a partnership with God. The psalmist’s prayer, “Search me, O God, and know my heart!” (Psalm 139:23), reminds us that it is God who ultimately reveals our sin to us. Our role is to be open and receptive to his inspection, allowing him to guide us to the areas that need attention.
This process of divine examination is gradual. God reveals our sins to us as we are able to bear them, helping us to grow in humility and dependence on his grace. We must trust that God will bring our sinfulness to light in his timing, and in the meantime, focus on doing the work he has set before us.
Embracing God’s Presence: From Fear to Joy
As we confront our own reluctance to unveil ourselves before God, it’s essential to remember that God’s ultimate desire is to bless us, not to condemn us. C.S. Lewis shares a poignant story about his wife, Joy, who once resisted a sense of God’s presence, fearing that he was going to confront her with some unrepented sin. However, when she finally gave in, she discovered that God wanted to give her a gift, and she entered into joy.
This story illustrates a profound truth about our relationship with God. While he does demand all of us, including our full honesty about our sin, his ultimate purpose is to give us everything — to fill us with his love, grace, and joy. The paradox of the Christian life is that in surrendering ourselves fully to God, we find true life and fulfillment.
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Conclusion: The Path to True Repentance
The journey of repentance is not easy, but it is essential for our spiritual growth and our relationship with God. It requires us to be honest about our sin, to avoid the traps of vague guilt and self-condemnation, and to trust God with the process of self-examination. Most importantly, it requires us to seek forgiveness, not excuses, recognizing that only by fully acknowledging our guilt can we experience the fullness of God’s grace.
In the end, when we unveil ourselves before God, we find that he is not only just and righteous but also deeply loving and gracious. He pursues us relentlessly, not to condemn, but to forgive and restore. And in this pursuit, we discover our true selves — forgiven, loved, and transformed into the image of Christ.
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